Even though I’m on my own
I know I’m not alone
Cause I know there’s someone, somewhere
Praying that I make it home
So here’s one from the heart
My life right from the start
I need a home sweet home
To call my own

I feel really insecure about myself right now even though I’m not sure why. /: I just wish that …hmm nvm… I’ll just keep wishing….

I’m just here trying to do all my homework but for some reason I can’t concentrate. I’m just here getting lost in my music & in my own little world. All that is coming to my head is, “Why am I doing this? What is it that I want to accomplish by doing all this? Will I even make it? Will I ever be good enough for anyone? Will I finally make someone proud of me? . .” All these questions are coming to my head & honestly, I’m just so tired & sick of it. Sick of trying. Sick of trying to be good enough for someone. I know I can make it on my own but sometimes it would be nice to have someone by your side. You know to encourage you & get you through when you’re at the edge of breaking down. To lift you back up on your feet & just make you feel good enough. Especially to feel loved. I don’t know, I just I wished I had someone who cared for me & loved me. For me, having someone gives you a purpose for life; a purpose to try & make it far… I honestly feel I have no purpose. I’m just tired of being on my own…But I’ll use every little strength I have left to try & make it far….

when you are with your friends, family, or just simply surrounded by a bunch of people but yet you still feel so alone?

Yeah, that’s happens to me a lot…and I hate it /:  

Fuck man, I was suppose to save up to go see Silent Hill: Revelation D; 
I only got $8, fuck my life -.- lol 
I want to go see it so badly!! D; But I doubt anyone would go with me xD 
But still, I must watch it! I wanna go so badly even I’ve been hearing bad reviews about it already e.e
Fuck it, Ima still try to go see it and I’ll see whether it’s good or bad.
I just loved the first Silent Hill movie sooo much !<3 :3 

Usually everyday is the same but today was actually fun. I went to go visit Karla & her baby. He is just so adorable :’D ! He kept smiling when he’ll look at me and then he’ll get shy :3 I also saw Juan & my “husband” Askur :3 & Jr as well n.n ….It was nice seeing them all. I got to meet almost all their family members D: I was all shy & stuff \(v.v)/ But it was nice to meet them all n.n …then I got home to fix my new house. I’m actually looking forward to moving there soon ^-^

Everything just seems to be getting worst and worst. I just don’t know how I can deal with all of this. I’m doing my very best to stay positive about everything but it’s just so difficult when you’re at the edge of losing everything. I may be smiling, but in the inside, I’m falling apart. Why is everything always taken away from me? …For now, I’m going to try my best to attain my goal which is to get a 4.0 GPA in school. I know I can do it. I’m not going to let everything that’s happening get in the way of that. I’m on the right track & I’m not going to give up. Not now, not ever. I just got to keep my hopes up & have faith in myself. Hopefully my situation at home gets better… 

I love listening to Japanese rock when I do my homework :3 <3
For some reason, I concentrate more :o But I also listen to other type of music such as German music :D 

I didn’t expect to see him today D: 

My heart was literally was jumping out of my chest (/.\) 

I noticed that my mood completely changes when I’m around him. I get all happy & stuff. 
That’s not good. But yet, I’m still happy that I was able to see him today. It made my day. <3